Monday, October 12, 2009

Look what £100 a week gets you...

'Liberty Quays provides students with excellent quality, campus accommodation in a highly secure and comfortable environment.' *COUGH* BULLSH*T *COUGH*

So it's been about 3 weeks living in this so-called 'palace' that the brochure seems to be suggesting my student accommodation is. And in my short time here, I have assembled a small list of faults that I have found with the place. Make yourself comfortable...

-Fire alarms. Now we all like to be ready for a fire, but a fire does not occur EVERY 5 MINUTES! I mean every time the managers have a bit of spare time (and believe me, the way they sit on their arse it's almost as though they're on constant break) they think: 'You know how kids love fire drills.....*slams fire alarm button*' I'm not lucky enough to have had the 4am fire alarm yet, but when I get it, boy am I not going to be moving anywhere...

-Chavs. I refer of course to the 'secure environment', and how LQ (Liberty Quays) think one exists in Gillingham. Every night, Hell's Angels (bandits in trackies and pushbikes) assemble outside Tesco and 'put down' (am I saying that right?) anyone who looks like they remotely have some kind of education. How hard is it for LQ or the fuzz to get a broom out and shoo these rodents back into the sewers/Gillingham?

-Staff. The other week, all the plug sockets in our kitchen were not working. The problem? A simple tripped fuse that could be reset simply by opening the fuse box and flicking a switch. Who had the key to the fusebox? Management. How long would it take them to send someone up the stairs to our room and flick a switch? 2 days. 2 WHOLE DAYS WITHOUT POWER IN OUR KITCHEN. If w
e had burnt down the kitchen, then I could accept that two days is a reasonable amount of time to rebuild the thing. But to flick a switch? I wouldn't have cared if I'd gone down there and got the key myself. But ooooh noooooo, you can't trust a teenager with electrical items; he won't know what he's doing...
This is a reasonable response from LQ staff compared to some of the stuff I've heard from colleagues. Lazy gits.

-Comfortable surroundings. Smashed windows, emergency services/boy racers in Japanese washing machines flying past my window every 5 minutes, a pile of BLOOD outside the door of block 4? If I had lived in East London all my life, then yes I'd agree that this sounds pretty 'cushty'.

Value for money. Don't worry, I'm not going to do a Watchdog-style analysis on this. But for £100 a week, I'd was expecting a few more luxuries. Want decent broadband? Oooh you'll have to pay extra. Want clean and dry washing? Oooh that's gonna cost you. Make a mark on the walls? Oooh thanks for the £200 deposit, that'll pay for the alcohol at the Liberty Quays staff christmas party. Anyone going to come round and tidy up i.e. a bit of housekeeping? Are you insane, we've given you a vacuum cleaner! (I don't rate vacuums that have smiley faces on them). TV license? You're on your own there buddy. As I recall it, a hotel pays for one TV license for all the rooms and TV's. But because we've been given a loan, the greedy bastards think students are rolling in money, so much so that we can all afford to fork out £142. I know this isn't directly to do with LQ, but still, I need SOMEONE to point the finger at.

To be brutally honest, I could go on all night with this. It is the most cynical I've been in a while, but the fact about half of the driers were out of order when I went to do my washing tipped me over the edge. Give me a spade and cement, and I'll build a better student accommodation. In fact, give me a spoon and some manure, and I'll make a better living quaters than LQ. I don't know, maybe I'm not giving the place a chance. Only time will tell. Over and out xD

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